Trinity 2nd Day In School
Baobei see her sibiling carrying a bag she also wanted to carry one but I haven gotten her one yet. Gonna buy her a barney bag at Compass Point Kiddy Palace this weekend to put her stuff.
Today baobei started crying the moment she cant see me. =( My heart was so painful when she start crying n screaming for me. I had the urge to go back in and carry her but I did not do that. Because if I go back in and carry her she will not let me go and she's gonna cry even more badly. Hai~ I think she got the feeling of being abandon by me but that's not true.. I wanted her to go school happily playing with friends and her sibiling..
Hopefully all this crying will end soon. It really break my heart to see her crying till so badly whenever she cant see me. Baobei really stick to me alot. Sometimes I cant even go toilet or close room door if I wanna changed my clothing.. She will keep knock the door or stand outside the door and keep cry till I open door. If not I got to ask for permission where ever I go.
I don have the mood to work today after seeing her cry for me. =( I cant do anything but just walk over to her school and peep at her to see if the teachers can handle her. I can only helplessly stand at one corner and see her cry looking for me. I cant walk over to carry her or coax her although I really wish to. BUT I CANT!!! -_- Everytime see her cry, my eyes will turn teary as my heart is so painful and I feel like crying too~ This is mother nature I guess..
I feel so bad when she had niightmare at night. She will wake up in the middle of the night looking for me and wanted me to carry her when I'm just sleeping beside her.. Sepration anxiety I guess. I really felt so bad to give her this kind of abandon feeling although I did comunicate with her telling her that after I end work I will come over and fetch her meanwhile she will stay in school with her sibiling and friends. I guess this take time for her to get use to the environment.
Fortunately her school is just beside my work place so I can just walk over and take alook at her whenever I feel like going. So everytime I had my lunch I will go over and see her for 30mins before going back to office.
Although its kinda like a torture period for both of us, I'll be strong and endure this for few weeks just for the sake of getting to see her everyday after work and not be a weekend mummy like before.. Able to see her everyday is my most blissful and happiest thing.
It really took me so much
courage to see her cry
& I cant do anything to stop
her from crying~ My heart
is so painful :'( & I feel like
crying whenever I see her cry
looking for me. =(
Helpless Me~